Feeling Lost in Life? 10 Ways to Find Clarity

Have you ever woken up feeling lost and confused? Everything in your life is okay on the surface, you know you have things to be grateful for, but you wake up feeling off-balance and like you have no direction in life. As someone who seemingly has their life together, I have to be honest with you—every few years I go through a minor (and sometimes not-so-minor) crisis of identity. With no warning whatsoever I start questioning if I’m heading in the right direction in life.  You may be asking, “Is it normal to feel lost in life?” Well, every day I teach people to find and use their voice and I can tell you this without question—you aren’t alone in your search for clarity.

So what do you do when you feel lost in life? How do you get back on track when you’re feeling down in the dumps, confused and defeated? Let’s explore 10 ways to find purpose and stop feeling lost.

1. Let go of the need to know.

When you’re feeling confused it’s natural to want to force your way to clarity. You pressure yourself to have it all figured out and the weight of it all becomes so overwhelming that you find yourself stuck. If you’ve ever laid in bed staring at the ceiling for hours or sat numbly watching reruns of Scandal because you can’t bring yourself to do anything else, then you know what I’m speaking about. By letting go of the need to know, you immediately shift your energy and create energetic space for inspiration to flow in and through you.

2. Stop comparing yourself.

You’ve probably heard the saying, “comparison is the thief of joy”. Well I’m going to say that comparison is also the thief of clarity. When you’re looking at other people’s lives as a measuring stick for where you should be in life or what you should be doing, it is easy to find yourself stuck in waves of overwhelm. Your journey and your calling is unique to you—the answers you’re seeking are not on the other side of the street.

3. Disconnect from your screen.

Any time that I find myself feeling lost or confused the first thing I do is eliminate distraction. And for me the biggest distraction of all? My phone screen. Days spent scrolling the internet, absorbed in social media, hypnotized by articles, and videos feeds into confusion. When your mind is overstimulated it’s hard to create any concrete plans that move you forward. Which brings me to my next point…

4. Make plans.

When you’re feeling stuck, you would be wise to get into motion. You may not know your long game or where you’re ultimately headed but staying still is not going to move you forward. Your plan may involve exploring new professions, signing up for free classes or workshops, joining a meetup, booking a trip or something else that helps to build momentum. You’ll be surprised by how quickly the path becomes clear as you begin taking action. 

5. Read and listen to stories.

Reading the stories of our ancestors, connecting with others through shared experiences and being inspired by the words written by powerful authors, has a way of connecting us back to who we really are. In 2020 I went deeper into my self discovery journey by seeking to better understand my roots as a mixed race black woman. During this time I interviewed my father about his life growing up as the son of black sharecroppers in Mississippi in the 1930s and 1940s. I read incredible books about culture and identity, and had deep conversations with many brilliant and interesting people. With each story I felt more anchored in my identity and my purpose.

6. Slow down.

I once had a friend say to me, “I’m feeling lost. I don’t have any dreams anymore.” I remember recoiling in surprise as this particular friend had some of the most specific dreams of anyone I knew. She had been going through some changes in life that had thrown her off kilter and was feeling confused about her life’s purpose. What was obvious to me at the time, was not so obvious to her—she hadn’t paused for long enough to cultivate any new dreams. 

When you’re barreling through life and operating at full speed it’s hard to see through the jumble of responsibilities, obligations and options. Oftentimes when we slow down and relax the path becomes clearer.

7. Ask for direction.

Anytime that I find myself lost I always ask for directions! And it’s no different when it comes to my life purpose. I’ve found that clarity can be found by asking the right questions of yourself and of others, which is why I considered deep questioning to be one of the most important skills to develop on the path to self discovery. When you can approach every part of your life with curiosity it becomes easier to navigate challenges that arise. 

To support you in your journey I created a PDF with 57 self-discovery questions to help you do deeper so that you can become the person you are destined to be and live the life you were meant to live.

Download your free 57 self-discovery questions below.

8. Find your people.

Back when I was still living in Chicago I met a psychic one day who told me that I hadn’t yet found my purpose in life because I hadn’t yet “found my tribe.” At the time I had been living in Chicago for 6 years and although I had a few lovely friends I’d never really found my core tribe—my group of people who held similar values, interests and missions in life. When I moved to Miami Beach I found the creators, the dreamers, the connoisseurs of life who helped me to further define my personal identity.

It may be the case that you’re feeling lost in life because you aren’t surrounded or anchored by a community with similar curiosities to you. Find your family and you may just find yourself.

9. Have more fun.

Years ago I was standing at a crossroads in my life and marriage. It was a really challenging time and I was confused about what was the “right” decision to make. I spent months agonizing over my options, feeling overwhelmed to the point of inaction. One day I was listening to Abraham-Hicks teaching on YouTube when they said something that has become my north star to this day. They said, “when you’re standing at a crossroads and you’re trying to figure out which way to go, you only need to align with the feeling of well-being from moment to moment, and you will be guided along the right path.” That day I surrendered the decision to my feelings of well-being, committed myself to having fun and with that fun came major clarity!

10. Hire a life coach.

Sometimes when you’re feeling lost in life you just need an outside perspective and some support to guide you along the path to self discovery. Whether you find a mentor, seek wise counsel from someone you know or hire a life coach who can support you in your journey, there is always support available to you in your journey.

If you feel in your spirit that there is a call on your life to do big things, but you’re unsure on the next steps to take in order to bring your dreams to life then book a call to speak with me here.

Comment below and let me know what are your next steps in the journey of self-discovery.

Have a question about life or purpose? Have an idea for a blog post you’d like me to write? Send me your ideas or ask me anything.